{ My Side of Things }

Nana’s Box is a nonprofit service committed to providing a photo box to cancer patients who are undergoing treatment. Nana's Box offers this service to the individual patient with the help and support of families, and those volunteers interested in the emotional support of cancer patients.

I started this project in an effort to support and honor my mom as she battles Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. My mom lives in another state which has prevented me from assisting her while going through her treatment. In an effort to comfort her as much as possible I made her a box full of pictures that had quotes on the back in hopes that it would make her smile, laugh and most importantly feel loved and supported. She absolutely loved it!!! The happiness this box gave her made me anxious to make them for others.

My Story:

August of 2004 was the day my life changed; I married my best friend. Of course the whole family came to the wedding.
I found this out months later, but during the visit for the wedding, my Mom had discovered some rather large bumps on the back of her skull. After returning home she told a friend about it, who referred her to her dermatologist. She had told my mom it was probably just some blocked pores. Her friend had been treated for the same thing.
During the visit with the Dermatologist he told my mom that this was something that he could not treat or diagnose. He suggested that she go see her Family Physician, we'll call him Dr. P.
During the visit Dr. P determined that my mom had some tumors, whether they were benign or not would need to be determined with a biopsy. At this time the number of bumps on my moms skull had increased to almost 15.

The week of Christmas was when my mom called to tell me that she had tumors on the back of her skull, but that she was not worried about it being cancerous and that with surgery everything would be fine. She asked me not to tell my siblings because she did not want to worry them for no reason. Being the oldest I felt like I needed to shield my siblings from this terrible news, so I agreed to keep her secret.

The end of January my mom had her biopsy done, and we waited for the results. On February 14, my life completely changed, again.... I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. Amidst all the excitement of the pregnancy and the first grandchild in the family, my Mom was diagnosed with B Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

That was the day my life truly changed.

I went through mountains of emotions. I was pregnant with my first child, I had no idea what I was doing, I needed my mom here to help get through all this. And here she was sick with cancer and about to go on aggressive experimental treatments. Because the lymphnodes where attached to the back of her skull, which had increased to over 20 lumps, they could not do surgery. Chemo was the only option. My mom decided to try a new chemo drug, Retuxin, which only targets the cancer cells. It was meant to be less harsh then other chemo drugs. But the effectiveness on getting rid of the cancer were still being studied.

At the end of February my mom decided it was time to tell my siblings about the cancer and the treatments that would be taking place shortly. It was hard news to deliver. My family at the time was very spread out, my sister and I lived in Utah at the time and my parents were in Missouri with my youngest brother. The second oldest, my brother, was going to school in Nebraska. None of the oldest children would be around to help care for my mom, and the youngest at home was still in high school.

The agony of not being at home to care for my Mom during her chemo treatments was felt through all the kids. I felt it especially hard. I knew that being the oldest I should be caring for my mom, it was responsibility, but I was thousands of miles away. I considered flying home for treatments but I was nearing graduation, my last semester of college and finals were coming up. My mom was no help either, she would not tell me when her treatments were, so that I could plan flight schedules, she didn't want me to put my life on hold to come home and care for her. It was hard, very hard, to sit at home with very little knowledge of how bad the cancer was, how sick she was, or who was taking care of her. It sucked bad.

In May of 2005, I graduated from college and was completely surprised to see my mom waiting for me as I walked into the arena to get my diploma. She had flown out to Utah to see me walk. I admit she looked better than I expected. Her gorgeous, long hair had thinned, but was still there. Her beautiful brown eyes still had that spark but dark circles had found a place underneath them. Of course, she had gained some weight, thanks to the chemo, but it just made her that much more wonderful to hug. When her short visit was over I was so sad to see her leave. She was getting ready to continue round 2 of chemo, at a higher dose. Months of chemo passed.

In September I gave birth to our first baby, a little girl. At that time, my mom was off chemo and in what they said was "remission". She came out to stay with us for a month after I had the baby. Shortly after her return home she relapsed and went back on treatment.
This is when the idea to make her a box came about. I was sick of not being able to be there for her. There was new life in our family, a first grandchild, a new hope for me mom. So, I gathered some of the best photos of my daugther, photos of my siblings and I as children, photos of my parents in the early years and I put inspiring quotes and scriptures on the back of them. I then created and decorated a small box that would contain the photos. I sealed it with love and sent it to my mom. This would start a pattern of her taking her box to treatments and the nursers "ooh-ing" and "awe-ing" over the new grand baby. As my daugther grew, so did the pictures in my moms box. She would continue to add more photos.

The joy that was brought to my mom through a simple box of photos was very healing for me. I felt as though I was able to finally help out and care for my mom. In an effort to keep that healing feeling I began to make boxes for others who were in the same situation as my mom. the amount of joy that has come from making these boxes cannot be put into words.

In December of last year my mom finally went off of chemo treatment's after having them every month for 2 1/2 years. They said she was officially in remission.